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well, the skin were a marked, dark, and sparsley bloody mess but i managed to adventure down to that now ritualistic field across from my old high school. a good mile of a journey but mad self-heroic by my lack of shoes and socks. i suppose my psychosematic affliction was born many years ago when i thought it best to put myself in what i thought to be publicly odd situations. nobody in sight (my age anyways) wore anything but jeans. but when i first set sight on those long pastel slacks, in that department store which immediately became my personal armada, i couldn't see my life being the same without them. of course the slacks alone didn't change me, but they certainly amplified my urge towards sticking out of public as much as i could. mind you, i wasn't on a mission for becoming a recluse or anything of the sort, i suppose i just had a warped sense of what was neat and cool. after awhile i couldn't bring myself to wear anything but slacks. and when summers rolled around i certainly couldn't wear shorts. slacks would always suffice. but a few years later, today, i felt an urge to give my legs air. not only that but the shoes had to go too. if i was to continue challenging myself to put myself outside of societal mores then at that moment i couldn't justify the 'need' to wear shoes. nobody really ever comes up and talks to complete strangers as it is. so i thought it futile to keep dressing myself up for people who were only interested in seeing me dress like them. and there i was in the field, barefoot. not quite content with letting ants run free on my freshly exposed legs, but still proud for having taken yet another step at realizing to myself that i could make judgements and decisions separate from society. in the north a falling cloud rained down separate from the other distant clouds. a mixture of light rays and clouds at a 315 degree angle against the horizon. the clouds were moving very slowly today. they also seemed compressed against the circular hemisphere. is there really a difference between clouds and cloud? one indicates an existance of more than the other -- singularity vs plurality. but i certainly can't distinguish a cloud as opposed to clouds. maybe a cloud is the instance where it looks like one singular floating object in an otherwise empty sea of blue. but what if the 'rest' of the cloud is lagging behind or floating ahead at a distance we can't see? even when the sky is full of white (cloud(s)) you can see gaps in between allowing you to see sky. so in the instance when there is only 'one' cloud visible, how can we say that there is not more lurking nearby, which of course would mean that we base plurality on vision. if we see 'many' then... surely it's just a lack of human eyesight restricting us from seeing the rest of the cloud. so when we only see 'one' cloud maybe we're just not looking at a big enough scale. if we were able to see farther off in the distance perhaps we could see the rest of the cloud. i propose that there really is no such thing as clouds, but only 'the cloud'. while it may sound hokey and unecessary to even dote on such a topic, i think it says something about humans. while we dissect nature with terminology describing seemingly various parts of nature, perhaps it's just outright silly to say anything more than nature. of course if we weren't any more specific than saying nature, then the population of poetry would certainly be severly reduced. or perhaps we'd have far more inventive and outrageous poems. and the northwest portion of the sky is getting rather dark, sw still remains quite light. although i must admit that i'm drawn more to the darker shade that Tanizaki spoke so fondly of. indeed without a dark background how could we even know that light is light, or how could we know without the presence of light that dark is dark. but it's certainly nice to see the silhouettes of dark blue with partly visible ripples in the 'back' with even darker blue. and i can't imagine that there's even been a greater contrast between light and dark than this sight in the west. i wonder what it would be like to sit here in this field with her and look at the clouds for hours. as i'm quickly learning on my way back from my barefoot adventure, the only consequence is nothing close to ridicule but rather sheer pain in the sloes of my feet. shit.
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